He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
