Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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