There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
