Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
