escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
