apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
