It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
