Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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