like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
