Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
