He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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