what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
