Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
