Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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