i just had sex bonerless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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