I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
