Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
