mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
