You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
