the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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