Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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