apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
