okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
