you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
