that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
