So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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