the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
