Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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