just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How does one acquire holy water?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
