my soul wont recognize me after tonight
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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