This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
