That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
