You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
