Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
