It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
