Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
