absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
