How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
