I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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