Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
