If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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