I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
