We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
