I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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