it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
