Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
