he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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