i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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