man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
