did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
