I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
